Feminism, Child Upbringing and the unnecessary pressures of the African community

So here’s a video I find very interesting (some of us may have seen it in times past). That said, I think (just as stated by Chimamanda) that it’s high time we started changing the stereotypical approach to life we have burdened ourselves with as Africans. I’ll really like us to weigh in on this and spark off a conversation that will in its own way impact as many as will read this thread. Kindly also share your experiences of how you’ve been affected positively or negatively by this stereotype.

cc: @NaijaLander @evansakanno @pretyprexy @fola @Drew @Oluwarufus @iamtosyne @Kachie @Aje

P.S: I know it’s not a ‘sex-related’ discuss, nonetheless, let’s make it count


Where’s the video? You didn’t upload?

My dear I’m shook not seeing the video o…I embedded it

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Patiently waiting for the video… I like the topic already…

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Same here… I have a good feeling it will be a very interesting one.

You should be able to view the video now. Thank you.

Cc: @pretyprexy


Refresh! the video is there.

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@fola @pretyprexy epp us and do that thing you people use to do so that every other person not tagged get notified


on it sir :sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses::sunglasses:


True though… The stereotype way of upbringing has condition kids to believe certain responsibilities are for the male gender and another for the female. This has created adverse consequences in our modern world.


I have always said “the most endangered specie is this world is man”

The ego we grow up with, the unnecessary sense of responsibility to be a gentleman even in situations that doesn’t warrant such formalities. I really hope I will raise my children differently.

The world is evolving.


This is the pdf version my Lil sis shared with me a while back lol I kinda felt good that I have raised her right…

.We Should All Be Feminists (Kin - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie-1.pdf (479.2 KB)


I’m quite concerned for our generation. With the increase in taste, voracious yearning to ‘belong’ and the speedy death of the virtue called patience, a lot of guys may just not be able to keep up in the nearest future.


This perfectly describes the average Nigerian woman today.

they grow up to be women who take pretense as an art form


Case in point, look at this excerpt from an article about when to know if a woman is in the mood to have sex:

Clearly, point 1 is an error, some women dress provocatively because they love fashion or for the attention, in my experience, unless she’s standing on Allen Avenue past 12:00am, it’s never because of sex.

Point number 2 is what caused Unilagolodo to be accused of rape today, so go figure.

Point number 3 is sounds so stupid, I’ll just let it slide.

Point number 4 is sounds even dumber, my GOD the writer is exactly what is wrong with Nigerian society today. How does a female visitor telling you she’ll be leaving soon some how translate to “have sex with me” ?

Point number 5 makes a bit of sense only that it’s not enough.

Point number 6, obviously the writer has never met women that enjoy music and dance.

Anyway, my point is that, Nigerian women are not sexually liberated. Most of them continue to objectify themselves by seeing all things sexual as a walk away from purity (because purity is everything to them).

To be fair I do not blame women alone, I also blame guys. Some guys spend most of their adult years chasing everything that wears a skirt then come on social media to talk about how women are hoes, how women of nowadays “have spoil”, how a woman must be submissive like you need submission to validate your manhood.

In the end, Chimamanda is right, it’s not enough to educate girls about decency, boys also ought to be taught about boundaries in human sexuality but then again, sex as a topic is none existent in Nigeria’s educational system.


Yes, Nigerian women see pretense as an art form. Women are taught to pretend to be celibate and sober even when they engage in the occasional alcohol intake and sexual debauchery. I think all Nigerians must learn the true meaning of liberty. It also helps to have a govt that defends our liberty.


Same way Nigerian men should learn too.


Patience is dead and buried. Everything is on the fast track.

However, the 2 genders need to be raised in such a way that they know it’s not a competition of who is better. A man/boy is wired differently from a woman. Women/girls should understand who they are. They are meant to do things men can’t do. The whole struggle is meaningless atimes.

The high rise in taste is causing an uprise in pretense level.


I beg to differ.

There is no such thing as a “speedy death of the virtue called patience”. Each preceding generation views the next generation as impatient, Awolowo thought Abiola/Obasanjo’s generation as impatient, they in turn think Fashola’s generation as impatient, and so on and so forth. It’s perception if you look at it objectively.

I also think boys born year 2000 and later behave much better towards women than guys my age. My younger brother is 23 years old, you should hear his views on this issue, you’ll be surprise.


I once had an elderly friend, she was in her late 20’s at that time and she was doing well and earning well too, her mum was so worried that she was successful without a husband and that her wealth might scare potential suitors from her. This is the mindset by which many of us have been raised blame this on tradition, traditionally we’ve been made to believe the rightful place of he woman inn the home is in the kitchen, cooking and rearing kids. A lot of people are so rigid with this notion many of which are resistant to change.

I pray we get he needed knowledge, exposure to bring up our kids in the rightful way


Ess sir, I’m not understanding your point.

Just one generation was in view when I made that statement, so there was no comparison with another generation.

Also, I don’t agree with you saying it’s a matter of perception. The agents/factors influencing societal pressure when we were kids are not the same as we speak. That change directly impacts our social behavior whether you agree or not. So when I say there is a speedy death happening to the virtue called patience, I understand what I meant.

All the above said was said having just ‘our generation’ in view. Meanwhile, if I’m missing something, kindly draw my attention to it sir