How Can I Help My Girlfriend Get Over Her First Love?


Dear TalesOfLove,

Hi… I am in a relationship with my dream girl. I’ve been trying to get her for years since after secondary school but she was in a serious relationship and wouldn’t even hear my words.

However, she broke up with the guy few weeks before her convocation last year and the moment i heard, i got closer to her, gave her every kind of moral and physical support she needed. When i felt she was okay and ready for a relationship, i asked her out and guess what? SHE SAID YES!!

Its been a year or almost a year after we started dating but she is still not over him. She just stopped crying randomly over the heartbreak few months ago and now, she checks him up on social media every time and mistakenly calls me his name.

Its painful that the guy is over her and with another girl, yet my girl won’t let him go. I love her so much but i don’t know how to make her get over this Ex which is her FIRST LOVE and be happy with me again,

How can i help her get over her first love?

How can i help her begin to concentrate on us?

I’m hurting but she doesn’t know… I’ll appreciate your words. I know i can find the moral support here.

Note: This picture is not related to the person (s) in the story.


First of all, you were the rebound guy(no offence), meaning you were/are who she thought/thinks she can use to get over the other guy. Girls naturally find it difficult to get over their first love. So i advice you just be yourself and love her unconditionally and with time she would come to see clearly your love for her. BUT DO NOT FORCE YOUR LOVE ON HER, cos a girl can just retreat into her shell when she finds you forcing your love on her


This is quite a sad story. Getting over 1st love is shitty and not an easy journey for alot of girls. Some say you never even get over them. It takes time.
But there are two options:

Talk to her and tell her the danger she is doing to herself. Tell her you’re hurting too because you love her. Gradually begin to help her drop those things that reminds her of the Ex. Push her to get involved in more things that would help her heal. Take her out with friends and not just you alone.

Push her to have fun and allow her talk too. Maybe to someone different. Let her talk and let out all she is being troubled about.


From experience, Nobody can force anyone to get over “love” except the person in question is willing.

Sorry to say, you were the “rebound” guy like @geezybee said and being a rebound guy either ends up good/bad.
You might just be missing out on your own “true love” , we will never know. Sometimes what we think is perfect for us might not be for us.
People get over “Love” naturally , talk to her about it , show her how awesome you can be but Don’t force it. If it is truly meant to be, It will be
Try not to get hurt in the process though.



Guy accept my condolences. You talking to her yet her attention is elsewhere, I understand. Could u try learn and crack jokes with her if you havent been doing so. Play games hide n seek, ludo, racing,go on adventures. Laugh with her, take selfies together, always hold her hands, look into her eyes and assure her things will be fine.
She will wish it was her ex doing this wit her but its u. Soon u will be more in her memory than him. Cheers.


You’re the rebound guy, some where in her mind she thinks going out with you is gonna give her Closure. That’s why she said Yes to you. Just be there of her she might come around pls and pls don’t FORCE her to love you. Don’t expect to much from her, just be there when she needs emotional support.

A friend told me
"Love" is like a two edged sword. No emotion has the ability to bring you to the state of contentment it brings both indescribable joy and deep fear and sadness most time simultaneously.when love finally comes to an end or is not mutual
Is often a terrible sadness ensues a pain felt
deep in the chest tearing at the heart demanding to be felt. Just embrace the process with the grace of an adult. And move on.


Chei! To find out you are a rebound guy or babe is just painful :rofl:


Whatever you do, do not choke her. Give her her space. Show love to her but do not place too much expectation on her.