How to successfully slide into a lady's DM for the first time


:joy: Its same way my dear… Sha just kick off the conversation and allow him take it up from there…


Sometimes my dear, you have to be direct o…If you just get to like and like, it would look like you’re really tying to pull his attention to you…

@yvonne should be here…


Step 4:

Don’t waste too much time in the DM. If you sense her getting tired of the conversation(s), ask for her phone number, her response to this is also determined by her mood. If you have made it this far, chances are she’ll give you her phone number. If she doesn’t, it means you either 1. asked her too early 2. she wants you to work for it (women don’t like to appear cheap, even the cheap ones don’t wanna appear cheap).

If she says no, or gives you a sarcastic response like in the screen shot below :point_down:t6:, it means, she’s still there for you if you wanna talk but you can’t have her phone number without a valid reason for it. At this point, what you need is patience. Simply enjoy the conversation with her and let destiny do the rest :joy:


you sef like the posts strategically not at once nah… Anytime I mistakenly like a guy’s post while stalking his page :pensive::pensive:…Imagine liking just one random post from 2015 …very embarrassing sumtin


Interesting…:thinking: very well noted.




Step 4 Commentary

In the screen shots above, I asked for her phone number barely 2 days after sliding into her DM. Her sarcastic response suggests she’ll give me her phone number but not yet, perhaps I need to work for it.

By work for it, I mean, I must get to know more about her, comfort her on bad days, maybe take an interest in what she’s interested in. Women are more complicated than calculus. In the end, it all boils down to her mood.


Yeah… It keeps the woman on her toes if she actually liked you at first. Chances are she will reply next time you try…




Step 5:

Control your emotions. The tricky thing about Instant Messaging is that the sender and receiver are almost never in the same mood. For example; it’s a Friday evening, the sender (you) is feeling good, looking forward to the weekend, but the receiver (her), is still at work finishing up on some work, she is definitely not in the mood for idle chat. The trick becomes, how to get her when you are both in a good mood.

Most women (Nigerian woman in particular) have terrible social media culture, although it’s easier to tell you she’s not in the mood, she would rather give you one of those rude one-word responses like “fine”, good", “ok”, when a man gets a response like that, it is easy to lose your cool and go off on a rant, but a real man learns to control his emotions. See the screen shot below for an example :point_down:t6::


U value some 1 from the onset , even wen she wasn’t aware of ur attraction to her. Now u expect him to be tactical in his approach to her. Oh pls… Then wat happens to the "be yourself " thing.? Sorry I may be raw sometimes but I surely don’t know how to pretend. Act like its all well wen its not. Act like u don’t want her wen u know u do. Act like the shoe doesn’t pinch wen its pinching badly. U know, she said something…that likes to talk. And with some1 as such, u just can’t hide anything but talk it over. Its good thing…


My brother, “value” is a big word to use for someone you simply find interest in over mere social media posts of make up ,nice oufits and copied google quotes.


Step 5 Commentary:

In the screen shot, I DMed her on a Monday morning, having studied her profile prior to sliding in, I know she’s a working lady and as a working man myself, I know she’s most likely not going to have time for a conversation with a stranger. So the moment she gave me a one-word response–“good”, I replied; “Cool, have a lovely day today.”

Now here’s the trick, a one-word response is not always a red light, some times its a momentary red light. In the screen shot, she responded to my wishing her a lovely day with a “you too”, this suggests she’s still open to a conversation but not now. Seeing this, I have a green light to DM her later after work. If I DM her during my lunch break, I’ll appear desperate and idle, women do not like desperate and idle men, so I’ll definitely have to DM her after work.

Like I said, calculus has nothing on the female thought process.


No you don’t. You value her momentarily. The moment you get what you want, you move on to the next challenge.

If you truly value her like you say, being tactical will be your approach, a man will not risk losing what he values by making careless decisions.

Think about it like this brother, you want her, so does a thousand other guys, how do you differentiate yourself from them ? by actually being different aka tactical :smiley:






Step 6:

Keep your guard up. You wanting a woman doesn’t mean you should go through the extreme. Women will test your patience in ways unimaginable. Get ready for random requests, she’ll throw hints about not having enough data, some times she’ll ask you for money directly. The 21st century woman is the first generation of women to taste the results of gender equality and some of them are hell bent on milking the hell out of this new found freedom. Declining a woman’s request when you can’t fulfill said request is not a crime and will not decrease your chances at all. If it does decrease your chances, then she doesn’t deserve you.

As a man, know your worth, do not lower your standard for any woman even if she looks like Uche Mba.


Step 6 Commentary

The same way women have their standards in men, a real man must have his standards in women. If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. Women are plain evil when it comes to manipulating men. The average Nigerian woman has at least 20 unread messages in her inbox. To the uncultured woman, that’s at least 20 men ready to do her bidding if she’ll sleep with them, to the cultured woman however, that’s 20 unread messages and one of those messages could be her future bae (depending on the context you choose to look at it from).

When conversing with a woman, you must show her you mean business; this means you have to show her you can do fine without talking to her. Women value attention more than they value material things, the most valuable thing you can give a woman is your full attention (attention costs money too by the way). When you give a woman your attention via her a DM, you leave yourself open to her manipulation, a real man must learn to keep his standard in women sacred while on the hunt.

For example, I could never really date a woman who doesn’t have an opinion in history or politics or doesn’t have a day job. Every woman I meet that doesn’t meet this standard is automatically friend-zoned or put on the body count hit list. Be honest with yourself, know your standard and stick to it. Men who go for everything in a skirt are part of society’s many problems.


Mehn bro @agbalumo you try sha. Typing all these isn’t beans. Any guy that wants to learn how to toast a woman should introduce her to me, I’ll toast her while he watches, take her on a date while he’s on the other side with a COM listening to our conversation and take her home while he’s still listening via the COM. When I’m done, he’ll have learnt a great deal


No chill :joy::joy::joy: