Is Love free?


#1

So i stumbled on this post by a friend of mine who happens to be a retired playboy and it really got me wondering.
What’s your take on receiving gifts from a lover guys?

You know, before I married my wife. I found it difficult and uncomfortable to accept any gift/present from her having gone through hell in the hands of someone I dated in the past. Yes, a gift/present is a burden to men and for women a gift/present is simply a nice thing to receive and they enjoy it.
But men are not out of line in seeing gifts as obligations. For SOME women, any gift they give to you is like an investment to them. Some women’s gift/present is full of meaning and duty. I was given a very expensive gift on st. Valentine’s day in 2008 by my then girlfriend, and when we separated some thirteen months later she demanded that I return her gift. She didn’t really need it, she just wanted to frustrate me because it was a monetary gift. And since my resources faced several alternatives, an issue of priority arose.
My friends didn’t want me to return it because it’s legally mine since it’s a gift, even my female friends agreed and were furious with rage. But for me, the legal thing to do is not always the right thing. Legally I can keep the gift because once given, the giver gives up the rights with it, but it’s not worth all the stress that follows. That’s how I gave it back. I have also seen grown men demanding a gift they once gave out.
While it is wrong for a woman to see her gifts/presents as an investment, it’s also wrong for men to receive gifts from or spend the resources of a woman they know they will not stick with. Love is not always free. I have heard so many stories about women who lose their whole life savings on men. It’s not good to take a woman’s money and take her for a ride…vice versa. But for a man, it’s simply evil.


#2

:fearful:

I call them greek gifts. (a gift given or a favor done with a treacherous purpose) They may look nice at first but later people change. I have had gifts from past girlfriends and have given gifts too but honestly if they ever ask for them back I will quickly send it back or the monetary equivalent.

@TeeAde and @oluwakemisola good evening oo


#3

@evansakanno, how are you?


#4

My approach to this is two sided.

One, when you give and you expect something back from the recipient, it is no longer a gift but bribe or inducement. Many people that have fallen victims to being jilted after spending a lot often give to buy the attention of the other person, even when it is obvious he is only taking them for a ride. My rules about giving ‘in this context’ are, give only to the deserving and don’t use your gift to manipulate the other person.

Two, it is a sign of immaturity to start asking the recipient to return your ‘Greek gifts’ (as evansakanno) rightly labeled it. If you have given a gift, consider it as your own seed into the person’s life. That’s all.


#5

“It’s not good to take a woman’s money and take her for a ride…vice versa. But for a man, it’s simply evil”.
It’s also evil for women who collect men’s money and take them for a ride. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Men also have rights


#6

Wow, things happen o


#7

Lol…but what if it’s a gift u can’t give back. Some people have different ways of thinking u know. It’s not like they need d gift…they just want to be mean
If a guy buys me a car and we break up and he asks for it back,I will change my line :grinning: :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#8

My dear u can say that again oh


#9


#10

Before nko? Was it not a gift :unamused:


#11

Lol.


#12

hahaha…I miss star wars


#13

@Mira let’s resurrect this topic from 2 years ago. I just stumbled on it.


#14

Hey @zegisters, let’s discuss. What’s your take on this? Please, do well to read the main post before giving your opinion. Thanks!


#15

In my Opinion,
Love isn’t free, but it’s been paid for
For someone to truly love another, so many things should have led up to that, because I don’t believe in “love at first sight”, I just think that’s infatuation.
Love requires time, sacrifice, trust, understanding, patience and in some very mundane cases which is rampant now, money. But one way or another you have to be willing to a make a sacrifice to be truly loved.
I mean look at bible, God gave the isealites literally everything, manner from heaven, miracle at the Red Sea and many others but they still had doubts, he had to send his only begotten son to die for us, because he so loved the world and it was after that the largest bodies of believers were formed.
God already made the sacrifice for us to have his love in abundance so that means he’s love is free, but for my earthly brothers n sisters I can say same.

Feel free to counter though, we’re all learning.


#16

Even salvation sef isn’t free. You’ve to work to receive it.
Bible ain’t free you’ve to work to buy it.
In other words nothing is free in this life. There’s a personal responsibility attached to everything if you look at it keenly.


#17

Lmao, Change your line


#18

The only common cost to making love seemingly free is Sacrifice, amidst others you mentioned


#19

I like the word “Responsibility” here. Love, whatever form it might seem to take demands responsibility.
Its why I’m not a fan of random “hookups” and “relationships”