Is this selfishness?

Some people don’t want to have children early in marriage for many reasons. Some of these reasons could be not being financially stable, prioritizing career or academics, wanting to give their spouse maximum attention, or just wanting to be totally free and independent (not having any worries about the child).

For eg, when you don’t have a child, you can stay out late with your spouse anyhow, travel at will, eat whatever you want to eat (pregnancy won’t allow you do this), sleep whenever you want to and as long as you wish, go out anytime and come back anytime without worrying about your children, etc.

Some couples decide to use contraceptives or other family planning methods for 1,2,3 or even 4 years after their wedding.

Is it selfishness not to want to have children early in marriage because you want to “flex” and enjoy life with your spouse?

Is it selfishness not to want to have children early in marriage because you are not ready to give up your freedom?

What do you think? @Aniekan @Mira @NaijaLander @Drew @Judy @ruthameh125 @pretyprexy @fola @Aje @W.O @Oluwarufus


Ain’t nothing selfish about not wanting to have kids early in marriage, the most important thing is your partner being in copy with this decision. You see, as a Nigerian some drama will come with decisions like this especially from extended relatives, which is why you need your spouse to always have your back at all times. Communicated with your partner and make sure you both are in sink and it’s not just a thing you want alone. Decisions like this should be mutual and not one sided.


The beautiful thing about “your life” is that you own it and you do whatever you please with it.

I don’t think it is selfishness . Your Life… Your rules… whatever suits you …as long as you are happy with your decision.


No, there is nothing selfish about this. Marriage is made up of two people, the husband and his wife. All others are nothing but bystanders.

I think this are things that couples ought to discuss at length during courtship and reach an agreement together. As long as it makes them both happy, then it is perfectly alright. At the end, when they do decide to have children, they will be solely responsible for raising them, so why base that decision on what others think?


I’d add so far your partner is cool with it, it’s not selfish.


My dear its not selfishness o!.. Its proper planning. It all depends on what you and your spouse want in your home…

Well, it has to be an agreement… If that’s what you want, you both can discuss it and agree on why you should wait.

Alot of women just have the fear of what the society and family would have to say about it…

Fact! I love your words… Why base your decisions on what others think?

Selfish what?? :roll_eyes: Where were they when they said somebody should abstain? :rage::rage: Where were they when we were dousing konji with cold water, tongues and cartoons? :rage::rage::rage::rage::rage:
you now say we should have kids immediately… See, lemme oooo. Let their other children give them grandkids!! as for me and bae, after we have discharged the pent up charges in the kitchen, garden, dining table, bedroom and all the rooms available, we may now consider “the thoughts of” kids…
It’s our selfishness oo :sneezing_face::sneezing_face::triumph::triumph:


:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy: Is it their selfishness?