Marriage and kids is not my "crowning glory"... Kemi Adetiba


#1

So yesterday, popular Nigerian music video director, filmmaker, and television director Kemi Adetiba made a post on Instagram where she shared a video of actress Tracee Ellis Ross’ speech at the Glamour Women of the Year awards saying that alot of people have walked up to her to tell her how much marriage and kids would be of added advantage to her life and achievements, but to her, it has nothing to add or take away from her personal achievements.


Kemi Adetiba who would clock 38 in less than 3months agreed to same school of thought with the caption she shared. Read below:

Before the “miss the point” folks start running rogue in my comment section, Tracee Ellis Ross has never once said she never wants to be married or have children. What she is saying however, is that because she currently has neither, some people choose to invalidate all of her personal achievements and growth. Their line of reasoning is her life is yet to have TRUE meaning until a husband and child punctuate her entire existence.
This struck a chord as I get this all the time. I will be 38 in just over a month and a half, and while I would LOVE to be married (to my God-chosen companion, and best friend) and have child(ren), I am very comfortable with the knowledge that my life is just as valid, and beautiful, and happy, and successful, if for some reason that never comes to pass. Marriage and kids is not my “crowning glory”… It’s another BEAUTIFUL step in life I would love to take. I’d also love to make (and keep) a billion dollars in my lifetime, but I won’t be any less of a woman or Kemi Adetiba if that didn’t come to pass either.
No… I’m not comparing the two. I’m just highlighting it doesn’t diminish a (Wo)man’s -Kemi Adetiba’s - worth if it never happens.

Watch the 1 min video Below:

What are your thoughts on this?


#2

Very Correct!!! How will you complete another when you don’t feel complete yourself? Marriage is a beautiful institution, love is a wonderful feeling but a woman shouldn’t be made to feel incomplete cos she is unmarried.


#3

Its her choice and opinion. She loves the idea but she ain’t ready for it that’s all.


#4

My dear… Society will not allow us see road. If i bring this kind gist to my mother, she will chase me out of the house. Its not like she doesn’t know marriage is not a woman’s crowning glory, she knows, just marry sha… That’s their own.


#5

She is. its obvious she is but hasn’t found the man yet.


#6

Yeah… I watched the full video of Tracee Ellis Ross’ speech and it was a bit disheartening seeing how people have been judgmental when it comes to marriage and child bearing.

The “society” has taught me through people’s experiences that YOU only have control over YOUR LIFE. I think people should learn to create their own happiness and not settle or be “boxed up” in what the “society” has standardized as the proper way of doing things. I feel that’s why people keep making the same mistake over and over again.

Toke makinwa’s comment on Kemi Adetiba’s post was that "people don’t even say go and marry again" it is just "go and have a child" like there is something wrong with her.

It is not everybody that wants to marry or have kids, people are entitled to do whatever makes them happy.

Tracee sounded like she would rather “stay single” than be in a “bad relationship or marriage” . Which is totally okay if you ask me :woman_shrugging:

I just think if we all continue in this cycle of “what is expected” many will die without “LIVING” or "HAVING FULFILLMENT" cos they basically lived another man’s life.


#7

Really? I’ve been looking for that particular video on youtube… I’ll appreciate if you can share the link here…

… I agree. Even to the point that the mistakes people now make has become like an acceptable fact or norm in the society. If only people will live life on their own terms and they would not be judged for that…

My dear, and she got backlashes from people. If you take your time to read the comments there ehn… You will understand some people are shallow minded. Like she said, people will never get the point even if you draw them a map to understand where it is…

It is this, “go and marry” that is pushing people into bad marriages and relationships. All they want to see is"he/she don marry o, let us celebrate…" Crap!


#8

Here’s the link

https://www.glamour.com/story/tracee-ellis-ross-glamour-women-of-the-year-speech-2017


#9

Nah they won’t even if you give them reading aids
Most times when I read through comments “I give up on Nigerians” . People feel when women talk about “being happy and single” something is broken from within that’s why , so they have to cover it up with all that talk . Biko , can’t someone be genuinely happy.

Sad thing is that people will still make the same mistake . Lot of forced relationships and marriages just to keep up appearance and get acknowledged.


#10

My dear, in this Nigeria… They can never accept that o! No way! We just have to keep pushing it tho…

Very true… Its more like its the final crown to wear…


#11

Thanks bae!


#12

Yeah I so support Ellis, I rather remain single that get into a bad relationship that would leave you broken so many times.


#13

Sick