On Sexual Compatibility


#1

Thankfully, it’s Friday so you guys can’t really say “It’s too early for this”.

Here’s the question/discussion: You know how religion and society tell us to not have sex before marriage? (I don’t want to go into the reasons). Now, the thing is, sex is a huge part of relationships and marriages; and there is such a thing as sexual compatibility.
Is it safe then to have people go into lifelong commitments ‘blindly’ and then realize that they are not on the same page or compatible?
I’m just wondering if there is a point to draw the line - like don’t go sleeping with the whole village because you’re ‘finding’ compatibility but then again, how does one ensure that they are not going to get the shock of their lives?


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#2

This is a major part of any relationship, omo, in order to avoid issues in this aspect :joy::joy:, I recommend a test drive.:joy: … [quote=“MisP, post:1, topic:3005”]
shock of the lives?
[/quote]

just like what this man discovered on his wedding night.


#3

LMAOOOOOOO. What???

I’m so so lost. So no sex before marriage also means to making out? Because if they did, he should have noticed an erect penis one of those times?

Did she never wear skirts and dresses? Because there should have been a bulge. Even on trousers sef.

I am weak for him sef.


#4

Whats a test drive?


#5

Well @MisP I don’t and won’t support or advise a test drive…

I’m probably old skool because I’m still of the breed that doesn’t believe in sex before marriage.
(I await the crucifixion​:yum::yum::yum::yum:)

Pray, follow God’s instructions and direction on who to marry, be sure you’re with the best person… I guess he won’t give you what would kill you…

But talk about it… Talk about sex before marriage to avoid too much suprises.
Don’t ignore this topic.
Talk about sex and everything.
Talk about your preferences and frequency of how you might like it… (you don’t need to engage in premarital sex to know this, read books and study yourself ).

I believe if the lady had been sincere right from the start about her genitals, there would have been less suprises.


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#6

@Beabeth @TundeMason @aderinsola_adeoye @akinsanyajoseph @Anonymous69 @walexblom
@evansakanno @fola @Bimz @ogeh47 @ayoola @walexblom @Oluwarufus @Yeye @ayoola @Judy @yvonne @Techie @TosinAdekoya @Aje @Ms_aijohi @ChiQaH @Anonymous69 @malaika @Suzy @xoxo
@Shinamee @pretyprexy
Guys share your opinions too…


#7

Well the truth is i kinda agree with @pretyprexy on this one. However, i believe that there is no way you would not have known if you were observant enough. Its a life long decision and nothing should be taken for granted… Even the most minute detail counts…

As regrads what you should do, if she is really a female, you would have to help her through it even though it might be the most difficult thing you would have to do. What i recommend would be a surgery to help her become a proper woman. There are alot of things to consider;

I would just advise that you consider all the available options to help her ease the process cos indeed, then make a decision. If she can not conceive, i would advise that you consider either getting a second wife or adopting a child…

Most of all, seeking counselling and not just from any random religious person, but from a sound practising spiritual counselor cos you would be able to get a balance response cos it has both spiritual and physical implications if we are looking at marriage firstly as a spiritual union.


#8

Hmmmmmm…

It’s really a serious ish.


#9

I ave always believed in the S&M factor. Sex and Money… The degree of openness here goes a long way to strengthen and reduce unpleasant surprises. I have believed the reasons for increase in failed attempts of relationships are because of small but mighty matters as these. We spend 24yrs of our lives preparing for a career, how many has spent a year preparing for a relationship, we just jump right into it. You need to read Kama Sutra which is my manual for sex… :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy: I have the e-copy for those who might care. I don’t buy the idea of the test drive, cause people crash the cars too. Sorry for the man, he should seek a dissolution of the marriage, he will be granted. Next time, he should endeavor to see her naked


#10

Hmmmmmm…

Would love to read…

Send it…


#11

I would love to read that your e-copy tho…and i am with you on the fact that one should prepare for relationships and not just jump into them. Understand all you need to understand, and sex is a very important part of every relationship so make sure both parties are on the same page. I once had this friend who’s boyfriend was into some SERIOOUSSSS S&M (not to bash S&M sha)…i’m mean the whole 50 shades of grey ish. It wasn’t her thing but she had been cajoled into the act so many times that she started to actually hate sex. The worst was that he was the one who broke her virginity…and it wasn’t exactly “love-making”…so imagine how she felt. And then started to fear that sex with any other guy would be the same. Dont be naive oo!!


#12

Not sure i can drop the ebook here, but i could send it to your mails. And i guess u meant BDSM!!:astonished: that is serious stuff oo. Your friend tried, though i feel he never loved her cos i wonder how he would put her through such!! She needs counseling, and like you said, Everyone should be careful and wise oo.


#13

Is there such a thing a small too much sex or too little sex? As a married person, I’d say you definitely need to test out the waters/test drive before you buy. You don’t want to live with the surprise.

I think to some extent, religion was designed to limit people (let’s leave it to chance = let’s leave it to the hands of God).

Something for you guys to consider.

Ps: sorry if my comments offends anyone, it wasn’t intended to.


#14

That guy is evil…

But well, with all the number of relationships we get into ,should we test drive every potential suitor??


#15

:ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand:


#16

Bros, would you advice I test drive every potential suitor?

Imagine if I’ve had like 10guys in my life, and I’m the serious type that would always enter into relationships with the mindset of marriage … And I got this advice at a young age, and I decide to test drive… ?like test drive each and every one of those dudes… Think about that…

Is ‘test driving’ an important part of a relationship?


#17

@pretyprexy

I’ll say, don’t take my opinions literally. #somethingtoconsider!

Different rules, applies to different individuals.

I think you’ll find (for those that have sex before marriage), that your average guy has had more sexual encounters than your average girl even with the same exposure.

I think having 10 soulmates is much, but if that’s your unique situation, then maybe be a little more cautious.

Don’t forget that marriage has a process… courtship, proposal/engagement, planning etc.

I also have a daughter and I’ll be telling her to explore and experiment. Does not mean be stupid/slutty. At the end of the day, I believe you are mature enough to make good decisions you won’t end up regretting.

So I asked my wife her opinion about this subject and she mixed feelings about this (I hope this means my child would get some sort of balanced view about sex & relationships).

Finally, I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to these questions or if there’s a right or wrong way to live life. Sometimes, good people die young and bad people grow old. I hope you get my thinking.


#18

Sex before marriage(for those who plan to marry) is highly recommended please.


#19

Most times we cover up a lot of things based on ‘religion’ and not try to be realistic. ( any type of religion by the way)

What do i mean? we always have this habit of 'religionizing ’ everything and in that sense don’t address some vital issues. like sex…and also by the way, God created sex, not the devil…

everybody is so consumed by the ‘before marriage’ than the ‘in marriage’ which is a lifetime committment. its good to see and check things out…believe me you need it.

what really and most importantly applies here is your level of self control, not the fact that you don’t or do want to have sex before marriage. self control will determine what you do, ( some people will say no matter how hard you try man go still fall) but believe me you can have self control…it’s very possible.

if you want to marry somebody you definitely need to see things for yourself…example… body odour, private part odour, curved penis, short one, small one, circumcised or not, damaged or not able to perfome kinda things…nipple discharge, no nipple… back acne, rashes, erectile dysfunction, reactions to things, etc… and so many more millions of things… the main aim is so that it can be addressed if you guys are going to be spending a lifetime together.

All you need do is have sense when you’re doing it, that sense can only come from God and being honest/sincere with yourself…

My take has always been know yourself so that you are comfortable knowing someone else…it helps…and God knows everything, we can never decieve him in any way…


#20

Hmmmmmmm…

Yes I get your point tho…

Everyone has a right to make the right choices…