Ok…are there people who would not want to get married?
Ok…are there people who would not want to get married?
You words sha… Can get some kain punchlines inside ni…
Fact!!! That’s the truth.
Yes my love… you will be surprised!
Lol yes na.
I read this and wondered if I shouldn’t just sign up in a convent. Wow.
Yes, a lot of people even.
But their Nigerian parents are busy ‘rejecting it in Jesus name’
Babe get two forms… I’m with you…
They better reject…
Me sef go reject am…
So I have a theory.
I compare romantic relationships to buying a perfect dress.
You invest as much energy and emotions into deciding which ones you should try in the changing room (if you’re like me though)
You may get into a few shops, and go over a few dresses before selecting the ones worth testing for the perfect fit. You also don’t want to be too sentimental, so you don’t have any regrets.
Not all men/women you come across make it to the ‘changing room’, some might but won’t be paid for in the end.
It’s one out of a million times you buy a dress without trying it out and it suits you perfectly
A word is enough for the wise!
So basically I adopt the “No Sex before Marriage” principle, however recent events in the past few years of my life has made me to see things from a different point of view.
There was a time when we all regarded sex as the greatest sin of all. We later learned that all sin are equal. I have read my bible and come across David who slept with Bathsheba and even facilitated the death of her husband Uriah being referred to as the man after God’s heart.
People have tied all their holiness in life to this “no sex before marriage” and feel free to tell a lie at a whim, or dishonour their parents or even worse adore their fashion over God that I am so tired.
I appreciate @lexyhugo @ChiQaH and @yvonne for their comments. A lot of people are going through shit in their marriage sex life and won’t say jack. Your preferences are very very very important, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I advocate that people should understand and check for compatibility if and only if you are very certain that the relationship can scale into marriage.
What if after all your holiness you realize you have married that “good” person who didn’t practice but has read and grown to love BDSM?
Times have changed, a lot of weird stuff is happening, and unfortunately, some people have factory faults. There is a huge chance that the lady with man parts can have a response as silly as “So you don’t love me again cos of this?” or “Aren’t you supposed to love me regardless?”
Find someone you love, date them, talk freely about sex and all the naughty desires you have in your head. Bare it all and study the person’s vibe when you speak of these things. Also get them to talk freely about theirs. If you guys are close to marriage in courtship try making out and see where it leads but please be conscious of your actions.
These things are important, a failed relationship is way way way better than a failed marriage.
Too much sense!
Spoken like a True Professor!! Someone should give him a beer
OK this is a very sensitive issue to me because I’m a Christian but I also think sexual compatibility is a serious issue. I can’t play with my sex life or endure crappy sex.
So, here’s what I think. Conversation is very important. If you are not having sex, talk about it. If you can’t turn him or her on with the things you say when you have sexual conversations then there may be a problem. I also think you should experiment, commit the sin once lol and be sure what you’re going into.
However, inability to engage sexually is not only emotional, it could be a health problem. Some men have erectile dysfunction, it’s not like they aren’t compatible with their partner. It’s that they have an issue with getting it up and these kind will have to seek professional help.
Some women suffer from vaginismus. It’s a condition where the vaginal muscles contract or spasms when something is trying to go in; a tampon or penis. It just refuses penetration of any sort. This problem can be solved via exercise or seeing a professional.
I saw the post and I must say I’ve seen quite interesting comments and I love the honesty.
My take regarding this topic will be
No Sex before marriage, as a Christian, it is what God says- honestly, a lot of times, I question why but I ‘console’ myself with this thought: remember some things your parents have told when you were much younger and it didn’t make sense at the time but years later it is now making sense to you.
In a relationship, communication is key, I feel both parties should be able to talk about any and everything. In a courtship, it is a time I feel you should ask questions, get to know one another, your goals, vision, purpose, how they tackle issues etc. When sex is involved, it shifts the focus to that activity in the relationship and it clouds your judgement. A lot of things can be swept under the carpet as a result and when you enter the eye opener(marriage), there could be issues. Oh hang on, I am not saying if you wait before marriage, you won’t have issues o, not at all. But I believe that in using any product/service you are not sure about, you contact the manufacturer, right? Cuz the manufacturer had the purpose of the service in mind when it was created and the product comes with a manual written by the manufacturer, in the same light, marriage was created by God and he has a guide-the bible to guide us.
Sex is a very important part of marriage but there are other components to it- think about it, there are 24 hours in a day, you and your spouse can’t possibly have sex for the 24 hours, common!, , let me be generous, let’s say you have sex for 3 hours, and sleep for 6 hours, what will you be doing for the remaining 15 hours??, I say that to say, a lot of couples spent time communicating, facing other responsibilities. Marriage is about responsibilities that is why it requires 2 mature people.
I feel we young Christians are trying to reason things out as a result of horrible marriage/stories we have heard, also the ‘religious’ people lay a lot of emphasis on ‘no sex before marriage o’ and are not telling us everything as there are various components to building a solid foundation in a marriage- hence, sex is hardly taught properly in churches when it was actually created by God.
This is causing problems cuz the desire is there, it is like a wild animal in us, we just need guidance on when to switch it on because it is so strong an emotion that it has the capacity to destroy us emotionally( unnecessary disappointment), physically(STD flying around), spiritually(lips sealed) and so on but if we stick to his manual(Bible) and did what it said, we wouldn’t have problems.
So yeah, no sex before marriage, In my opinion though, it is extremely difficult not to be sexually compatible in marriage when during courtship you talk about every and anything, you connect emotionally, you are obviously physically attracted to each other, your purpose align, you pretty much get each other and are committed to making things work.
And if things are a bit awkward or slow the first time, you can talk about it, sex will get better over time. Research has shown that married folks have way better sex than single folks engaging in it
And if for one reason or the other, either of you have been sexually active in previous relationships, talk about what you like atc, communication is key.
Phew, see long epistle, my God, let me go back to work biko, lunch break over.
i love you walahi!!
I just love you for this illustration…