I saw the post and I must say I’ve seen quite interesting comments and I love the honesty.
My take regarding this topic will be
No Sex before marriage, as a Christian, it is what God says- honestly, a lot of times, I question why but I ‘console’ myself with this thought: remember some things your parents have told when you were much younger and it didn’t make sense at the time but years later it is now making sense to you.
In a relationship, communication is key, I feel both parties should be able to talk about any and everything. In a courtship, it is a time I feel you should ask questions, get to know one another, your goals, vision, purpose, how they tackle issues etc. When sex is involved, it shifts the focus to that activity in the relationship and it clouds your judgement. A lot of things can be swept under the carpet as a result and when you enter the eye opener(marriage), there could be issues. Oh hang on, I am not saying if you wait before marriage, you won’t have issues o, not at all. But I believe that in using any product/service you are not sure about, you contact the manufacturer, right? Cuz the manufacturer had the purpose of the service in mind when it was created and the product comes with a manual written by the manufacturer, in the same light, marriage was created by God and he has a guide-the bible to guide us.
Sex is a very important part of marriage but there are other components to it- think about it, there are 24 hours in a day, you and your spouse can’t possibly have sex for the 24 hours, common!, , let me be generous, let’s say you have sex for 3 hours, and sleep for 6 hours, what will you be doing for the remaining 15 hours??, I say that to say, a lot of couples spent time communicating, facing other responsibilities. Marriage is about responsibilities that is why it requires 2 mature people.
I feel we young Christians are trying to reason things out as a result of horrible marriage/stories we have heard, also the ‘religious’ people lay a lot of emphasis on ‘no sex before marriage o’ and are not telling us everything as there are various components to building a solid foundation in a marriage- hence, sex is hardly taught properly in churches when it was actually created by God.
This is causing problems cuz the desire is there, it is like a wild animal in us, we just need guidance on when to switch it on because it is so strong an emotion that it has the capacity to destroy us emotionally( unnecessary disappointment), physically(STD flying around), spiritually(lips sealed) and so on but if we stick to his manual(Bible) and did what it said, we wouldn’t have problems.
So yeah, no sex before marriage, In my opinion though, it is extremely difficult not to be sexually compatible in marriage when during courtship you talk about every and anything, you connect emotionally, you are obviously physically attracted to each other, your purpose align, you pretty much get each other and are committed to making things work.
And if things are a bit awkward or slow the first time, you can talk about it, sex will get better over time. Research has shown that married folks have way better sex than single folks engaging in it
And if for one reason or the other, either of you have been sexually active in previous relationships, talk about what you like atc, communication is key.
Phew, see long epistle, my God, let me go back to work biko, lunch break over.