Please Help! My Family Thinks Its A Bad Decision Waiting For My Boyfriend In Jail


Dear Tales,

I write to you with a heavy heart and a disturbed mind. I am a 32 year old lady working in a bank and he is 38 years. I have known my man for 12 good years when I was in the final year of secondary school. We started of as family friends and he was very fond of me so he always helped me in many ways.
When we lost our father, he took up the responsibilities of taking care of my education, and welfare. In fact he extended his kind gesture to my family by helping with our financial needs.


It all began when my boyfriend was arrested for drug possession 3 years ago. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison. You can imagine how hurt and sad I was when I found out.

For 3 years now I have been going in and out of Prison visiting him and assuring him that, I am still here for him. I love him very much because this man has been my savior and angel.
After 3 years of my boyfriend in prison, a man from where I work has expressed love to me and wanting to marry me. He is a very nice single man in one of the top positions in the bank. I have known him for the 4 years I have been working at the bank.
He has intensified his wanting to marry me. I like him a lot, but not in love with him. My family members have started pressuring me to accept his proposal and move on with my life. They want me to let go of my boyfriend in jail!

They think 12 years is an imprisonment for me if I have to wait for him. In the beginning I thought it was a joke because this is a man who practically took our family as his and helped us through our trials. I really love this man but everyone keeps telling me that waiting for him is a bad decision I have made. The pressure is too much now. I feel like I am being ungrateful

Note: Share honest opinions. Remember people have feelings too so always be kind with your words :slightly_smiling_face:
Images are not related to the people in anyway.


Don’t wait


If the boy in jail really loves her, he will persuade her to move on. 12 years is a lot of time!


Wait till you’re 44 when he gets out and he’ll dump you for a 25yrs girl. :grin::grin::grin::grin:


12yrs…oops…that’s too long of a year to wait… Wat if he comes out after that years…u both need to start from the bottoms… Nd u are 32…plus 9years to come…babe…u can wait that’s love for u…hmmmmm,


If your boyfriend in jail really want you happy, he will ask you to move on. But again it’s your life and you just said you love him so I think also that since you are still in love and still ready to wait for him,you should just hold on and keep getting better. Your happiness first before family or anyone else. Remember also that your family don’t hate you…they are only showing their concern.


Hmmmmm… This is quite interesting…

Reading through these comments, i actually thought people would be of the opinion that she should wait for love considering what she has been through and the sacrifices the guy has made in taking care of her?

Don’t you guys think it would hurt him knowing she’s quitting in the time of trouble? That’s what i think…

cc: @lade @Ukpeme_Damien_Udouse @Princessmia @vividvictor @ruthameh125


At the end of my comment i said she can wait since she is till in love…hmmmmm…she must tell the guy first


But I said she can wait and keep getting better since she is still in love and that her happiness is paramount. Also,if you change your mind about waiting until he return,you should communicate that with him effectively. The both of you should be able to agree on your decision so you both can live happily after. Life is too short for anyone to keep another from moving forward.


Do you love him because of how he helped you and your family or you love him because of who he is?

I’m not sure but it seems you are holding on to him because you feel you owe him for all that he did for you and your family.

Did he promise to marry you? What if you wait for 12 years and when he comes out, he doesn’t marry you?

Talk to him and know what his plans are after prison. Don’t bring marriage up, just casually ask him what he plans to do with his life when he gets out of prison. His response will help you know if you should wait or move on.


12 years!!! That one na some serious gbege o. 12 years??? You for don born at least three pikins by then my sister. :smiley:


Real gbege, don’t marry out of pity.


Love messes up our reasoning sometimes. So please allow your head do the thinking and not your heart. Time doesnt wait for anyone, not even love! But if you’re really convinced that you love him enough to wait for 12yrs, and you’re sure he’s still going to want to put that ring on your finger, then ride on. But make sure the wait is because you love him and not because you feel indebted to him.




As in ehn… 12 years no be beans o!


And you are laughing. SMH


Its very tough to ansa, 12years is a big risk and I really don’t av d best ansa but I think @TalesofLove should talk to his boyfriend about it. It doesn’t sound good I it is what I would try. Wateva the outcome of ur discussion is might be of help.

A guy DAT truly loves u will let you go tho, but ow does ur boyfriend knows Wats going on in ur mind if u don’t tell him. I mean its not a crime for u to worry, 20years is too damn long


It might be tru love na but it now depends on whether her boyfriend truly loves her to let her go or is he the selfish type. I mean no harm in my statement @TalesofLove


Confirm! Wouldnt have phrased it better


But why are some people saying that if the guy loves her he will let her go? Does letting someone go easily mean that you love the person?