Therapy Session (Q & A) - @immanuelZever


#1

Dear @Zegisters

I’ve dated a guy for seven years but we always have a fight concerning the same issue.

He is never satisfied with me. Whenever I see some SMS or picture from another chick on his device, he is good at saying sorry and I forgive but he keeps making the same mistake. What should I do?

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Dear XXXXX,

I don’t think it’s a mistake if he has been doing the same thing for that long. Pardoning a partner is great when they make honest mistakes and apologise sincerely for them, not when they repeatedly do things that are obviously hurtful on the belief that there is a ready arm willing to take them back.

Not only is it unfair on you, it is also a way of misrepresenting yourself. I don’t think it’s cool to be the woman who is seen as spineless and who is indeed spineless to the point of being unable to speak for yourself and kick out a man who is intentionally not getting his act right. There is a place for being forgiving and nice and all that but there is also a point where this crosses to being unreasonable.

I think that by continuously allowing your boyfriend coast despite this obviously unfair, irresponsible behavior, you are not doing your relationship right and you are also not doing yourself any favour. This is not to say you should break up with him instantly, I’m just saying sit him down, express how bad it makes you feel that he’s treating you disrespectfully, do whatever you can to make him listen and act right. But whatever you do, don’t just sit there while he continuously embarrasses you by blatantly going after other women as if you do not exist…

I’ll stop here for now… perhaps someone in the house would like to add one or two finishing touches…

#LetsTalk :clinking_glasses:


#3

How do I know my girlfriend is the right person to marry???


Dear iMMANUEL,

I have a girl I have been dating now since 2016, I love her so much that i show it but she shows less love to me, whenever she visits, I will be the one to always spark up a romance.

She lies, she doesn’t always want to accept that she is wrong but she appreciates things done for her. She is virgin because we have been keeping sexless relationship for two years now.

Her parents are set to meet each other to discuss our wedding and now so many questions begin to pop up in my brain.

For instance, I wonder if she really is the one for me. I am confused as I do not know how to test her love for me. I really have a lot of doubts about the union in my heart right now…

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Dear XXXXX,

The first step to having any form of peace and certainty about this relationship is to ask yourself some questions and answer them as frankly as possible.

What are your priorities? What are the things that make up your core values? What are the things you can’t bear from a woman? What are the things you can’t put up with in a relationship? And what are the things that are bearable for you?

Do you think you will be fine with a woman who never accepts responsibility or express remorse for her wrongs? Is the virginity enough for you? Are you getting more relational satisfaction from her than worries?

These will serve as a guide to knowing what your marriage to that woman will feel like. If she has too many habits that you don’t see yourself putting up with, if her character flouts the things you consider as your core values, then you really have no business continuing that relationship.

Like they always say, the signs are usually there before partners tie the knot. People just always choose what they want to see and ignore the signs they should be flagging down as unacceptable.

I don’t think it’s wrong to be a little confused and to ask questions before tying your soul with another’s but at times like this, weighing the situation fairly and honesty facing the truths revealed is really, really important…

@Zegisters Any Comments??? :sunglasses: