I sat on the kitchen stool, with my head in my palms sobbing. It was dinner time and I had set the table for my husband. But I didn’t have the appetite to eat so I didn’t bother joining him. Someone tapped me on my shoulders and I almost jumped out of my skin in fright.
“It’s me honey,” my husband said.
I heaved a sigh of relief and bowed my head quickly to hide my teary eyes from him.
“Aren’t you eating?”
I shook my head. He was silent for a minute and I thought he’d left. I looked up to be sure he’d left only to see him staring down at me. I looked down almost immediately.
But he lifted up my head with his hands and staring into my eyes asked, “Are you crying?”
“No, something must have entered my eyes.”
“When did you start lying to me?”
I couldn’t hold myself together again and I burst into uncontrollable tears. He pulled me into his arms and allowed me to empty my tears onto his pyjamas. I don’t know what happened next that night. I woke up the next morning to find myself on my bed. I jumped out of bed and hurried into the bathroom. When I came out, my husband was noting his tie in front of the mirror.
“Good morning sweetie.” I said walking up to him and gave him a light kiss.
“Good morning honey.”
“I woke up late today. I’m going to be late for work,” I said rushing to get dressed.
“I didn’t want to wake you up because it seems you weren’t feeling alright last night. But I’ve packed your breakfast and lunch. So just get dressed. If you like, I could drive you to work while you tidy up your hair and apply your make up.”
“Thank you,” I said packing my make-up kit and comb into my handbag.
I hurriedly got ready and rushed to meet my husband in the car. He drove while I finished up my preparations. We got to my office and before I could open the doors to step out, he held my hands and said,
“Whatever is bothering you, remember that I’m here if you need someone to talk to. Can we make a date to talk about it this night?”
I nodded and rushed out of the car.
I intentionally came back home late to avoid telling my husband why I was crying the previous night. But my plan failed. I got back home to see my husband watching TV.
“You haven’t gone to bed yet?” I asked.
“No, I was waiting for you.”
“I sent you a text to tell you I’ll be home late and you shouldn’t wait up for me.”
“I got your message. But I can’t sleep knowing my wife is out there alone in the dark. I wanted to be sure you get home safe before I sleep.”
I frowned and walked past him to our room to shower. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw my husband sitting at the edge of the bed.
“I haven’t eaten dinner yet. I was waiting for you so we could eat together. And also talk about whatever issues you have.”
"I’m not hungry.”
"At least come sit with me while I eat”
“Sweetie, don’t you understand that I’m tired. I had a long day.”
“Did you really have a long day or you are avoiding me?”
“Hmm. I’ll keep you company while you eat. But I won’t talk because I’m tired. I’m sure you can understand that.”
He didn’t respond but walked out. I dressed up in my night wear and went to join him at the dining table. He began by telling me how his day went. After a while, I became distracted. He tapped me and I came back to my consciousness.
“I’ve been calling your name for the past few minutes. Where was your mind?”
“I’m sorry. I’m feeling sleepy.”
“What is going on? How will I know what is on your mind if you don’t tell me?” He was raising his voice and I could see anger in his eyes.
“You are acting like you care about me. Didn’t you hear what the doctor said yesterday? I can’t have children. It’s my fault for committing an abortion.” I didn’t know when tears began to flow down my cheeks.
“So that’s why you’ve been acting up. I heard the doctor. So what if we are having infertility issues? I want to have children; it’s my desire to be a father. But that’s not the only reason I married you. I married you because I love you. And I will love you till my very last breath with or without children.”
“What will people say? How will I face your family?”
“I’m here for you. That’s all that matters. Remember the doctor said there’s hope for us. We can begin fertility treatments when you are ready. All hope is not lost my dear. How many people know you did an abortion many years ago?”
“Only you, my ex-boyfriend and me.”
“Let’s keep it that way. I don’t want you to mention it to anyone else. And keep the doctor’s report between me, you and the doctor. Your family and mine have no business knowing that we are having issues or that we will be receiving treatment. I’ll handle the pressure from my family, so you don’t have to worry about them. If you cooperate with me, no one will even know you are the one who has a problem. They will assume but let them not get a confirmation from our mouths that you are the one who has a problem. Can you do this for me?”
I nodded my head and hugged him tightly. I couldn’t believe he was so supportive knowing I was the reason we don’t have children in our 2 years of marriage.
End Note: This is a fiction story
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