I pride myself in the fact that I’m not a cheat, hence why I am befuddled by her recent actions. After sweet many years of being intertwined, why? Why would Eli do this to me? My religious inclination makes me a one woman person but as I’ll say “We all are capable of evil, all we need is the motive and opportunity”. Well, mine came sooner than I expected.
I met Eli where boys became men at SLOT. It was such an ordinary Tuesday when I walked in with Collins who needed to buy a phone. He couldn’t find his desired specs online, so we just had to come down. He was checking around from kiosk to kiosk when I caught a glimpse of this beauty. She was gorgeous, just the right shade of light to complement my dark skin. Our eyes clicked, my heart skipped, I just knew this was it as I could hear the angels on the piano and the heavens sighing! My gaze danced around her and she returned them surreptitiously. For the second time in my life, I was scared shitless, words fled me and I was almost going to walk away but for Collins who boosted my morale. He was around the corner and must have noticed my quandary as he came to my rescue. I can’t remember how the conversation ensued, but I left there with her by my arms. I was grinning from ear to ear and my buck teeth showing the way.
Eli was the girl of my dreams, sleek beauty, flat curves, and an intelligent being. She was my go to buddy, we talked about everything. It was unbridled chemistry. We went everywhere, even to the office. My colleagues talked effusively about her. Ours, was the kind of love story you wrote about.
We made love every other night and I’ll admit that I usually fell sound asleep after the deed. There’s something about making love but that’s a gist for another day.
It was a week after our second anniversary, she started acting up. Eli was always tired, my touch was beginning to tweak her nerves. Now I look back and realise the signs where there all along but I just felt, maybe she needed more attention or space but you know, no one really understands women!
“You dey sleep?” Officer Dante’s raucous voice jolted me from my reverie. Slowly my mind arrived the four walls of the shabby cubicle as I replied, “No sir. Sleep ke? In this situation, pesin no dey sleep o”.
“Wetin happen?” He asked me as he pressed for my side of the story. Officer Dante looked like a four-flusher so I decided to tone down the details without any embellishment as I don’t want any more dealings with this snollygoster. I was giving him my rendition of how Eli broke my heart when she walked in with another chap and the free flow of tears stemmed my narration. We had our first major brawl and that’s what brought me to Officer Dante. He previously had a session with Eli and was mediating for a tangible fee.
After an hour with the two of them, I walked out in relief knowing I did no wrong even if there were many things I could have done right to forestall this. This was a lesson I’ll never forget in a hurry in my hunt for a new boo. First, never love a lady completely, keep some –just in case. Secondly, never put your eggs in a basket, put them in two! I was close to the Uber waiting for me when I overheard the young chap saying “Eeya, I pity am sha. Make he go find another one jawe, no be only am dey. Shebi, Officer don try im best?”
I was beginning to wonder why Dante was called “Officer” seeing that he had no affiliations with any of the military parastatal or even the police, guessing he earned it from his skills at getting to the root of issues without creating damages. Despite his avid love for money, he was good with computers! No wonder he handled Eli well.
Oh! By the way, Eli’s full name is EliteBook HP and she was good while we lasted. Caught you there, didn’t I? Anyways, I’ve found two laptops that I am going to buy. I’m not taking chances no more!!! Guys Stay woke!!
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