What's the Fuzz about the "one-knee-proposal" thingy?


#1

OF PROPOSALS AND DECEPTIVE ‘WILL-YOU-MARRY-MEs’.

Dear FutureBae,

Do you remember that day, two years ago, when we just started this our love something, and you asked me “where are we going with this?” and I was like “Mowe Ibafo”, thinking you meant the Guitar I was taking to rehearsal that evening…before you clarified that you meant our “relationship”?

Do you remember?

Do you remember how I explained to you that when I, with all the grammatical sagacity I could mutter, yet in the most sublime, sincere, and simplest way, came knocking on the door of your heart, I didn’t come to play, test the ground, or borrow charger? That I came to you with all the intention to be your one, only, and ever will be?

Do you remember?

Do you remember how you asked for some time to think about it?

Do you remember? (Be answering me ó).

Do you remember how a week later, we met, and you told me you feel the same way and want to spend the rest of your life with me too?

Do you remember?

Good.

Now, don’t you think it will be a serious act of deception if both of us, just some months to marriage, then connive to deceive ourselves, our friends, and the rest of the world, under the excuse of proposal party, now acting like I’m proposing to you?

Babe, be sincere, Don’t you think that’s a sin?

So the proposal and proposition earlier proposed will now be disposed àbí?

Babe, let’s not follow the multitude to do this evil thing in the sight of the Lord.

If you want to do ‘patí’ (party, pronounced like an aged Yoruba woman), just say so, instead of this act of confusion.

Now, let’s even say by some happenstance, and show of romance, we decide to follow the multitude to do this evil thing…that is, if after all these years (of dating, talking about our lives, where we would live, the name we will give our pet dogs, the person that will be praying over food at night, what side of the bed we will be sleeping, our goals in life, and even praying together etc)…I go on one knee (for one reason or the other) and now ask you “will you marry me?”… And you’re now acting surprised like ‘pẹ́pẹ́ye’.

Chai…Ọlọhun gbó, it will pain me gan.

In fact, I’ll be scared.

See, you can be happy, excited, and be smiling.
You can even do “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn” like Feyisayo Soetan.

But baby please, don’t even make the mistake of ‘mistakenly’ asking me “Are you Serious? It’s a lie!”

Ó máa dùn mí gan.
Kódà, I can say “No” and stand up.

In fact, if after all these years of saying sweet nothings to each other, you don’t know I want to marry you, and I didn’t tell you, and you didn’t ask, then it shows you are not a serious person, just a time waster.

How can we both be inside one ship and not know where we are headed?

So, please, let’s respect ourselves, and the anointing of God upon our lives.

Just smile, laugh, and say something like: “Of course, that’s why I’m here. That’s why we’ve been doing this. Like I said before, ama say it again, Yes, I will marry you”

Dear FutureBae, please take heed and consider these words of mine.

I just thought you should know.

I am theimisiOluwa; and it’s been a while I wrote to you.

Love you Plenty.

(Disclaimer: I’m not feeling fine o. This is purely a fictional thought. And does not represent the view of the writer in anyway. Any coincidences of thoughts shared between the writer and the written words, or any table damaged by these words are deeply regretted.)


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#2

On behalf of dear future bae, she loves you too!

You are amazing @theimisioluwa. You write so well. No dull moment reading from you. Every word is captivating, with a spice of humour to grace the words.

I may need a Yoruba translator (@Otumininu) to know what you wrote in Yoruba. That regardless though, I smiled all through my reading. It was a pleasant and truthful write-up. I would have quoted your words and replied to each quote, one after the other, but I may end up quoting everything you just wrote. :grinning:

Future bae, please don’t ask him if he serious, and don’t act like pepeye. :grin::joy:

Word!

Sorry, I couldn’t resist quoting that. Okay, let me stop here.


#3

Hey @zegisters, what’s up? Trust you are having a great day. This room is a bit cold, and I need you all to keep me warm here!

Our brother, @theimisioluwa wrote something, have you read this? If no, oya, come and read it, and do well to drop your thoughts on the whole proposal thing.


#4

Awwwwwwn. (Ok, let me not act like pepeye too…loool :joy:)
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. I’m encouraged.

As for the yoruba part, I think I’ll just do a list of yoruba words, and their meanings.
:raised_hands:
Thank you Plenty.


#5

Don’t I just love you? Please do! We(because some of us don’t actually understand Yoruba) would be waiting to learn from your compilation.


#6

I was going to come for u until I read this. Case closed


#7

Best Thing I have read this month!!:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: You sway me your word usage. Even My Children knows that their father didn’t propose to their mom, talk more of doing “awwwwn” up and dan. You expressed my deepest thoughts in the most hilarious of ways! You are appreciated


#8

This is gold
Crazy Fact. I never proposed to my wife. Just travelled all the way from Lagos to Abuja to meet her parents.


#9

This is wonderful @theimisioluwa, The Mowe Ibafo part arrested me, Hehehehehehe


#10

Loooooool.
Thank God for my life.:grin:


#11

Ha. Don’t worry, bail is free. loool


#12

This is interesting.


#13

Looooool.

Thank you sir.


#14

This one is already in 2030 when his children will be daddy-ing him. This is 2018. :joy:


#15

She would have shown you pepper as a Yoruba person that she is, and since you are also Yoruba, both of you would become, pepper them gang.


#16

This is some sweet stuff. I love the sprinkles of satire. Well done @theimisioluwa


#17

This is a great read.

Well-written @theimisioluwa


#18

Lol


#19

As if you can say No, nice and sagy write up @theimisioluwa


#20

Actually… Erm… Erm…erm.