Why Do Some Girls Prefer To Get Pregnant Before Marriage?


#1

I recently had a conversation with a neighbour over the topic of intentionally getting pregnant before marriage.

She insisted that she must get pregnant before getting hooked into marriage to avoid the issue of dealing with infertility in marriage, because according to her, the man could be impotent and she may not know, he could be experiencing family issues or even has the intention of breaking her heart after proposing to her.

Her idea was she must confirm she is pregnant before she allows the wedding proceed.
But i think pregnancy is more honorable when its within marriage and not before and its even better to wait than have waggling tongues. I would gladly wait till i’m married.
I just want to know what your own personal belief or thoughts are about getting pregnant before proceeding with marriage.


#2

I don’t like the idea… even some guys say “in their family” the girl gets pregnant first so they can confirm if she is fertile (since In Nigeria, it is only the woman that is responsible for infertility)
Some girls feel it will keep a man (worldwide joke) or to check if he is fertile like the neighbor mentioned…
Anyone you believe will work for you… Na your belly na you go carry am…


#3

Lol… Let’s ask the girls in the house. In as much as i want babies like right now, I have seventy five years with madam, so no rush!! after marriage, let the baby factory be opened


#4

Hmm! this is a deep one, sincerely i’m not in support of getting pregnant before doing proper rites o.

We sorta talked about this sometimes in Sunday school and people shared their experiences. A guy even brought up the issue of Mary the mother of Jesus getting married to Joseph while she was pregnant with Jesus.

If couples that have been trying to conceive for years were given the option of getting pregnant before marriage trust me many of them will jump at it.

Truth is many intending couples secretly do their court wedding and get pregnant after which they proceed to doing the rest of the marriage rites, this is in their opinion to prevent the agony and pain of not having kids on time. But then really, it’s which ever works for you.


#5

Yeah… which ever works ooo.
Because I have friends that want to wait a yr before starting to try for kids after marriage… First I made fun of them saying if it were that easy to turn the baby button on and off , couples won’t be having fertility issues.

But really at the end it got me thinking… Maybe if we drew a scale of preference about what we truly want from marriage…“kids” will always come first… Is that all marriage should be about? Just asking…


#6

For me, getting pregnant intentionally before marriage shouldn’t even be up for discussion because to get pregnant you have to have sex and outside marriage it is sexual sin.

Having children in marriage is not a do or die affair. So what if me or my husband is infertile? Adoption is a choice. To me, having children naturally is not one of the main reasons I want to get married. Honouring God, companionship, physical and sexual intimacy and being a helpful partner are more important. Once these are in place, I believe the marriage can stand the test of time even without children.


#7

I would like to wait for a few years before trying to have kids after marriage. But if when I start trying to have kids, it doesn’t work, adoption is an option or I will stay without kids. The most important thing is having a loving and supportive husband.


#8

So what if she is the one who is infertile? Will she remain single for life?


#10

All I see is He, He, He. Why does she think she can’t be the one who’d have the fertility issues? Besides, people lose pregnancies. So the idea of getting pregnant before marriage to prevent ‘surprises’ isn’t a guarantee of anything.
Concerning getting pregnant before wedding, personally, I won’t do that. Any guy wey want make I do that should better waka go front go look for his wife cos I am not his wife. My grandpa instructed all my uncles to ensure that all their wives get pregnant before their weddings. His reason: because girls of nowadays may have done ‘things’. All except one did as they were told. One of them lost the baby after his wife put to bed, after the wedding. So, wetin we kon dey talk???


#11

Be sure not to order a boss baby sha


#12

Very good question o
She ll nw come and b looking for who to marry her for love
See rubish


#13

Personally it is not something I will consider but peradventure its happens on our way before I do it won’t be for the reasons like testing our fertility or to keep bae. Pregnancy don’t keep anyone and even if you get pregnant just because you want to test your how fertile you are,what is the guarantee that your marriage will last or you will have the baby. Why it is okay to say do what works for you,it is important that we have genuine and good reasons why we do what we do and do stuff for fear of the future that we don’t really know about. Don’t because of the fear of the unknown have Ismael when there is an Isaac​:grin::grin::grin::grin:


#14

And an understanding mother in-law
Plus normal relatives
Just saying


#15

Once you do court wedding, you are legally married. These many marriages/wedding in Nigeria causes a lot of confusion. I wish there can be only one wedding.

Christians will quote Matthew 19:6, which says that no one should separate what God has joined together. Is it only during church wedding that a couple is joined together? Maybe I should open a new thread for that


#16

If you have a loving and supportive husband, handling relatives and in-laws in a case of infertility will be easier. The reason some in-laws torment wives is because the husbands give them liberty to do so. When a husband keeps quiet, why won’t they go ahead with their torment?


#17

In a Nigerian family, this is even more important than the supportive husband. Plus there must always be at least one abnormal relative. :joy:


#18

One can still b handled sef
It becomes a problem wen the abnormal relative is the influential type in the family


#19

Trust me, u don’t want to put some men in the position to choose between their wife and mother. Especially wen dere is tough bond BTW mother and son

Its always ugly

The best is to have a loving and supporting mother inlaw as well

In short just dis woman alone is enuf to make d problem go away


#20

This just reminded me of one prayer point I heard one day… something about "how they must not start family meeting if I am not present" Nigerians won’t kill me :joy::joy::joy: … What happened to praying for the spirit of humility…


#21

Please who exactly is getting married and to whom? I am a bit lost here o. The new trend is, marry, fly out and stay there. any person that want to visit should buy his ticket and get visa, then call you if you will be available before coming down…

But on the other side, men are usually the infertile one in the equation, same goes for the blame on the woman producing female kids alone as if it is not what he supplies that she gives out…:roll_eyes::roll_eyes:
Any way, i wait like 6 years before i marry bae, then we wed finish you say you want to see grandchildren (But shebi you have other children naa, tell them to give you grandchildren)…:tired_face::tired_face: My waiting for 6 years is not a joke, we intend to use 3 THREE (just in case, you can spell) years to get to know ourself intimately… Is it not Gen 4:1 that says “Adam knew his wife, then they concieved…” Abeg let us "knew Ourself jawe… Moreover, we can’t specify the time between “Knew” and Concieve… :crazy_face::crazy_face::sunglasses:

as for supportive family them… OYO is their case… come and do support when we are not in the same geographical zone… :wink::confused::weary: Let me go and continue waiting jawe!!