Would you advise she aborts her pregnancy?

Hi friends, I’m sharing a very personal story with everyone here because I know maybe I will find the answers I need.

My friend recently got raped by her cousin who came over for the Christmas holidays. Here’s what happened:

He was her favorite cousin and was also a friend to her. They talked about almost everything and more. Even when he came home for Christmas, they spent way too much time together and I remember telling her to watch her friendship with her cousin.

Just two days after Christmas while in her room chatting and discussing with him, they both got really emotional and he kissed her. When she noticed this, she quickly pushed him away but he kept on pleading that he was horny and forced her to lay back as he tore her undies and pushed in his “stupid straw like penis”( her exact description)… He left the day after.
Just yesterday she called saying she is pregnant and confused. She knows her parents and boyfriend will kill her knowing her cousin is responsible for the baby.
I swear I don’t know how to help her. I don’t know anything about abortion or a place to do it … I don’t know if she should keep it too, knowing her family will kill her.
I am really confused .

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This is serious ni…

At what point did she not realise he was getting too close for comfort?? I won’t judge her but tell her to open up to the family… Or wait… Imagining the consequences is driving me nuts…

I’ll have to wait for sapiosexuals ( @aje @Kachie @Drew @judy @fola) to talk first…

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Hmmm… This is indeed a serious situation.

As for me, abortion is not an option. Let her open up to her parents first, even before informing the animal in human skin cousin. No matter how difficult her parents may be they can’t kill her but abortion can. @b3a726ad7d5e4c984e8b @pretyprexy

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Hmmmmmm… Well, I’m almost searching for the best words to type here.

I don’t know the kind of discussion that they were having for them to get too emotional. Truth is this, you can’t be gisting a random topic or even life goals, etcetera, and your cousin would just kiss you and even rape you.
How were they sitting? One unique thing about the female gender is that we know when a guy is hitting on us, Cousin or friend…funny but true.

I would suggest she tells her parents about everything, but I’m quite sure she would really be questioned.

Rape is really a bad thing… Really bad. But there are a lot of questions to be asked. For instance,

During the rape incident, did she try to raise an alarm, since they were probably in their hometown and people would surely be around all the time.

Did the guy have any injury if she really struggled with him, or did she just lay down because as she said he forced her(prolly with his persuasive plea)?
If he really forced you, then you must have struggled with him

Who did she tell about this? Even if it may have been difficult to tell her parents, how about her siblings or even her boyfriend? Truth is, this news of her pregnancy would hurt him, but he would feel more hurt, knowing that she hid this incidence from him

Hey, I’m in no way judging her… The deed has been done. Surely, abortion is never an option.

Swallow the pain, shame, and pride(for your esteem), and please, let your family know (especially your parents). Tell your boyfriend too.

One more thing, please be strong.

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No no!! She can’t keep that baby that was born out of incest! The trauma of getting raped is enough not to talk of keeping the evidence. She will never love that child no matter how she tries to. This is part of the vices we’ve been dealing with for too long.
Religion aside,he who has no sin should cast the first stone and I know abortion is a sin, but I won’t advise she keeps this child.
She should get the family involved and stand her ground that she wants a proper abortion by a certified medical doctor!! I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m so sorry you fell into the trap of a shitty cousin.

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Guys guys… please no judging.

Regardless of how we talk about what they were discussing, the deed has been done and she’s pregnant for her cousin. I think the question here is should she abort or keep the pregnancy? I remember being in a discussion with @ogeh47 and @TundeMason and @ayoola 's cousin - A nurse in December and the topic of abortion came up.

The nurse asked us this question;

If you were in a burning house with a 10 year old boy and a jar containing a million sperm cells and you can only rescue one of the two which will you choose?

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God forbid bad thing!!

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Abort the baby.
As @judy said she can never love that child.

She might decide to have that “family announcement” or not. I don’t like the idea of telling the boyfriend though, break up , stay away, heal if you have to. Report to the necessary authorities.

May we never be placed in situations we can’t control or handle, it is very easy to say these things but when the time comes. If the situation was staring right at us ,Will it be logical to stick to rules.:woman_shrugging:

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Lol… @Judy, so you feel abortion is the best option?

Not everyone can survive doing that… Let’s assume she’s one of those scared of abortion… Fear can even kill her during the process.

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I trust my @Drew with the logical apt response. I miss you too :disappointed_relieved:

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It has not reached the point of abortion with surgical knife. She needn’t be scared

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Oh, that’s true, didn’t even notice the yesterday part.

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She should abort the baby. Go to a good hospital and do the needful except if you want to have a baby for your cousin who certainly will not marry you. I personally can not let pregnancy trap me down except if I am ready to have a child but if not, I will let it out.

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@judy @drew she can always love the child because a mothemother instinctively loves a child she bore for 9 months (even mad women-mothers). What stops her from developing love for a child she would house in her womb? We love pets that we didn’t carry in our womb.

Unless that child is born with some deformity… even at that, the child can still reciev mother’s love

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Well I believe in your case your family would find it hard to believe you so what you have to do firstly is

  1. GET EVIDENCE HE GOT YOU PREGNANT: chat the guy up and let him know you are pregnant and get his response. Ask him questions as regards the rape and let him make comments via Whatsapp which will create record or Call him on the phone and record the call. The Bottom line, get evidence before telling your family.

  2. NO ABORTION: I would not advise abortion. Outside the risks, you are killing a child and its a sin

  3. Start making preparations for having a child. Seek counsel and advise from experts cos TRUST ME, your life is about to take a MAJOR TURN. Preparations this direction: 1. (Parenting) Being a mother and raising a child 2. Decision Making 3. Finance and Money Making etc

  4. TELL YOUR PARENTS. However, the day you decide to do so, take a mentor, an elder, someone elderly that you trust and have a relationship that can cushion the effect of the news on your parents.

  5. TELL YOUR PARENTS NOW The longer the delay, the opportunity you give them to find out. It might be the most difficult thing for you to do,but trust me, you will be doing yourself a favour the sooner you tell them.

The rest would unfold. Just make sure you have someone around that would give you support and be by you always. Someone you can rely on. Seek God concerning the matter and i believe you would get through it.

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I am not even sure this is rape. Rape is not a good thing but I will never report such a case. Shame will not allow me to even tell the police my cousin raped or slept with me. Just do what is best for you and start a better life.

Common bad treatment from a guy will make me not to keep anything about you around let alone something like a child that I definitely know will ask who his father or her father is someday. I will delete anything that has to do with you.

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@Valkyr I love the way you thought about it… But bro… because she carried the baby for 9months doesn’t guarantee an iota of love oh. #coldworld

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Okay… let’s say that is possible.
We handle things differently anyways…
A child is a blessing , the bond with the mother and all that…
But Naaah psychologically she can’t be okay …staring at that child… It is not even about the shame of what people will say… It is her own mental state… I don’t think keeping the child is advisable.

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If she feels up to it, she can report.
In my opinion, Reporting to the family members too is kinda like a waste of time .
It is just another story that will be added to the family history and the stigma that will come with it will be told to the unborn generation.

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