ZegistChat: The Realities of Marriage with Laju Iren


Thank you for this question. It is a sad reality. But I’m usually very careful not to give generic responses to questions like this. If you know anyone going through this, I wouldn’t mind counselling her in person.


Yes oh, me I like my space when sleeping, all this cuddling they pain hand & my hubby likes to cuddle. He had to quickly realize that his wife “ain’t gat time for no cuddling” but I try these days :blush: so we can meet each other half way.


My wife won’t give me oral sex, I want oral sex because I like and I’m a human being with rights to oral sex. What do you recommend I do ?


A pastor recently said that if your spouse told you a destiny lie ( if he’s impotent and he lied about it before marriage or if she can’t have babies and she lied about it before marriage) that anyone is free to back out of such marriage since it was based on lies from the start. In his words he said God will understand. Do you agree with this? @lajuiren what will you advise in situations like this?


Men in the house, oya come and ask questions ooo


Kindly respond @lajuiren


Yeah, I was looking for this. For a woman, sex is beyond what happens in the bedroom. It is everything that happened that day. For some the day and week before lol. I remember telling a guy this and his response was whether sex is a reward for good behaviour. But you must understand that you have the ability to love this woman like Christ loved the church. You also don;t want her to pretend. So be more intentional, more romantic even when you aren’t horny. The other thing is communication. Tell her what you like! Ask her what she likes. But going outside is not an option for a man who loves the Lord.


Is oral sex a sin in marriage? What do you do in cases where one partner likes oral sex and the other doesn’t?


I learnt recently that Men have space in their brains just for nothing and that’s when you can ask some men:
Girl: Honey what are you doing?
Boy: Nothing.
Girl: But you say you are busy…
Boy: Yes i am busy doing nothing.

…and girls are supposed to understand and relate with it?

True or false?
cc: @evansakanno @adebsalert @afolabiabass @aje @agbalumo


what are you talking about, women reply nothing all the time.


I don’t know for other guys but there’s no space in my brain for doing nothing o.


She probably thinks there are health implications. If you can convince her otherwise…also, perhaps you can compromise…say halfway…lol


True. However you cannot force someone to do what they do not want to do, especially in terms of sex. If a wife has made it explicitly clear oral sex is off the table (for religious reasons) what should a man do ?




I’m curious…cuz 'erm, biko Oral sex is important :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


They just don’t want to start talking and they know it’s a conversation starter


yeah I may have to compromise.



It is not. But when you love someone, you want them to do stuff they are comfortable with. So find a way to make them comfortable with it and be open to compromise


I feel they are shying away from anything that involves marriage @pretyprexy tag them na



Why do men fear “Baby, Lets Talk” or “We have to talk”?

No matter how we say it with a smile, they just get all jittery… even if its just a simple gist o!!

Can you suggest a better way this can be done?